What happens when the gAang gets drunk?
by InfinityFistTheMonarchOfMen
Summary: Toph takes the gAang out to a seedy bar in the Earth Kingdom. What chaos will happen? How are the gAang members drunk? I don't know, but you could find out. Loosely based off of the LMFAO song "Shots."


**This is a song fic based upon "Shots" by LMFAO. **

**WARNING: Everyone's personalities are different this is totally my messed up creation. Sexual situation may issue. Enjoy. **

The gAang sat in a shady pub in the Earth Kingdom. They were traveling from an important summit for something or other and decided to have one last night of fun together like old times, much to Zuko's (the royal miss fussy birches') chagrin. He sat in the corner with his hood drawn up over his head. He hadn't been much for socializing with anyone after his uncle passed away. This was also a way to cheer him up.

"Come on, Zuko." Sokka pleaded dangling on Zuko's shoulder, "Do a shot with me in memory of your old man." Sokka was already a little tipsy from one glass of ale.

"No. I don't drink and you know that." Zuko had recently had problems with alcohol, Katara and Toph had to spend months at the Fire Nation palace keeping him sober.

"But Katara will make sure you won't drink too much. Right Katara?" Sokka looked to his sister who just rolled her eyes and sipped her tea. "See, she's got ya' covered."

Toph came back to the table carrying an arrangement of drinks on a tray, "Drink up bitches. This round's on me!" She knocked back a couple of shots. "Whooo! Feel that burn." She pounded her chest a couple of times to help the feeling return.

The crowd spared her a few glances, but ended up shrugging and going back to their drinks.

"I don't want anything." Zuko restated and crossed his arms, only to have Toph push a fire-whisky on the rocks in his direction: his weakness.

"Come on. You know you want to." He growled but knocked the drink back and returned to his slumped position in the corner. "There's a good boy. I'll go get you another."

When she had left, he glanced worriedly at Katara from under his hood, "You _will_ make sure I stop, right?"

"I spent eight months keeping you sober, if you want to destroy all my hard work then go ahead. But know this, I will not be as gentle the next time around." She warned and took her own drink from the array of things Toph brought.

Aang was at the bar talking to the bar tender, they were pretty engrossed in conversation. It didn't make it any better that the bar-back was a busty young thing that flirted with him every chance she got. She didn't know it was Aang though because he was in disguise. The whole gAang was.

Toph sauntered up to the bar and slapped some money down, ordered her drinks, then said something to Aang. He replied but apparently it only earned him a punch in the arm so hard that he fell to the dirty tavern floor dazed. Toph's resulting cackle could be heard through the noisy din of the drunks and hussies trying to get lucky, the whole room actually quieted somewhat listening and looking for the source of the noise. This only made Toph cackle louder as she made her way back to their table to the embarrassment of her friends.

"Do you always have to make such a big scene? And why this bar? I mean really, there are much nicer places than this out here." Katara complained.

"Oh, shut it Sugar Queen. You wouldn't know a good time if it even if it was a six-foot tall sex god who made you scream and beg for more at the same time. Plus, I come here a lot and these people are my friends."

"You have a weird taste in friends." Zuko mumbled.

Toph pushed another shot in Zuko's direction, "Of course I do, look who I am here with. Prince Pouty, Completely Responsible Sugar Queen, Meat and Sarcasm Guy, and then there's the Raging Hormonal Passive Aggressive Monk at the bar." She pointed over her shoulder at said monk flexing for the laughing barmaid. "Enough complaining, let's get drunk!"

**Katara**

She hadn't intended to get drunk. She just wanted to let her hair down for once and not be the _Completely Responsible Sugar Queen _that Toph always called her. So, she challenged Toph to a drinking battle, needless to say Toph won.

Not one to be called a poor looser, Katara decided to go and get a tea. Her head was feeling a little weird after taking three shots. She didn't understand how Toph was walking straight after four shots and two before the contest.

Okay the alcohol was really hitting her hard.

She stumbled into a burly man with snake tattoo's twisting their way up his arms. "Oops, excuse me." She slurred. "I like your tattoos." He seemed to be a nice guy because he had caught her gently as she leaned into his strong arms.

"Thanks." Came his squeaky reply. It was like snake-arm-man's voice was three octaves higher than it was supposed to be. Snake-arm-man's companion stood next to him pouting and crossing his arms.

Katara blinked rapidly, confused, "Well, thanks for catching me." She moved out of his arms unsteadily.

"Whooo! Way to go Sugar Queen!" Toph yelled from across the room when she felt what was going on with her awesome earthbending senses.

Oh, she was doing something right then; maybe she should join him for a drink or something. Before she could even ask Sokka was by her side dragging her away, "Katara, stay away from those people. They are not a good influence. What's gotten into you?"

Katara pulled out of her brother's tight embrace and slurred, "Nothin's wrong with me. I'm going to go get another drink." She had remembered the real reason why she had gotten up from the table. Her thirst was killing her.

"No way. You've had enough." Sokka took her hand and led her back to the table again. He was angry, she could tell.

"Awwaaa, Sokka. Why did you have to ruin the fun?" Toph complained and Katara noticed five empty glasses in front of Zuko. "My gay-dar was going crazy with those two!"

Katara blushed profusely and was suddenly very glad that Sokka pulled her away before she could make a fool of herself. Toph slipped a glass of whatever-Zuko-was-drinking in her direction.

"Katara's cut off. No more for her." Sokka growled.

"Stop being so over fucking protective." Katara calmly replied as she took the glass from Toph and sipped from it. "How many times do you think I've had to watch your back every time you did something stupid? A lot. Let me tell you, you do a lot a stupid stuff. La, Toph, what did you give me? It tastes like gasoline."

She shrugged her shoulders, "Whatever Zuko was drinking."

Within a few moments Katara's head lost any train of thought and felt light as air. "Okay, I want another one." At the bar she spied that _six-foot tall sex god_ Toph had mentioned.

**Zuko**

Zuko watched as the girl he thought he loved walked back to the bar, stumbling and knocking into strangers along the way, and order another drink. The bartender poured her the drink, but when she went to pay for it another guy down the bar paid for her. She laughed and talked with the new guy for a little bit.

He didn't like it. Not one bit. He needed another drink.

He grunted something about getting said drink and made his way to the bar a ways behind the sexy waterbender, she was dressed in a dark blue shirt with silver embroidery and a black skirt that came just above the knee. It hugged her every curve of her body and during one of her stumbles, it had loosened around her breasts allowing a little more skin to show.

It was driving Zuko crazy, but he wasn't the only one who had noticed. As Katara passed, men turned their heads to follow her. That was also driving Zuko crazy, but this time it was not in a good way.

"…What's a body shot?" Katara asked curiously as she leaned closer. Zuko growled into his drink. Yes, he was spying on his friend.

If only Uncle were here. He would know what to do.

"Well, that." Ass-butt pointed to a woman farther down the bar laying on her back and letting a guy drink something off her stomach.

"I don't know." Katara hesitated. Zuko nodded, no one was going to do that to his Katara.

"Let's dance then." Ass-butt said and he held out his hand to her. Music had been playing the entire time, but Zuko had never noticed it until now. Ass-butt said something to the band and it played louder and a faster beat.

Katara immediately started moving to the beat, quite seductively.

_Oh, I need another drink._ Zuko thought angrily. He was going to beat Ass-butt up in a little bit. When he looked back around Katara and Ass-butt were dancing so close and seductively that they might as well have been fornicating.

Fuming Zuko ordered two more shots of the strongest liquor the bartender had behind the counter and readied himself for a fight. Stomping over to Katara and her conjugal partner, it occurred to Zuko that what he was about to do was incredibly stupid. Nonetheless, he punched Ass-butt square in the face, definitely breaking something. Probably Ass-butt's nose. Zuko was 110% okay with Ass-butt walking around with a sidewise nose for the rest of his life.

"Oh, Zuko? Now what did you go and do that for? I was having fun." Katara pouted and crossed her arms only exaggerating the way her breasts looked. She knocked back his hood as he stood mesmerized. "See, no one here cares if you are someone of importance. They just want to have a good time. Lighten up." She left Ass-butt lying there on the ground passed out and possibly bleeding to death. Instead she choose to take his hand and lead him back to the bar. They shared a couple of drinks talking freely and without barriers for the first time in a long time.

Okay maybe punching Ass-butt wasn't such a bad idea.

**Sokka**

After Katara left for the bar, Sokka couldn't take it anymore. He wallowed in the disgrace of not being able to keep his sister from harm because she wouldn't listen to him and he couldn't just tie her up, right? Right. Dad wouldn't approve.

Toph started to laugh quietly then laughed louder. She refused to tell him what she was laughing about, instead she passed him a large bottle of something amber, "Here, you'll need this. No, don't turn around."

Defeated Sokka took the bottle and drank as much as he could in as little time as he could. It successfully made him not care about anything anymore. "Thanks, Toph."

"No, problem. Oh no. Incoming." She scooted in a little to make room for the newcomer who was no less than Zuko.

"What are you doing back here man?" Sokka asked as he handed Zuko his bottle.

Gratefully, Zuko took it and chugged like Sokka had done earlier, "Your sister. She is going to be the fucking death of me I swear."

"What do you mean?" Sokka looked around for his troublesome sister and found her dancing on one of the tables near the bar. The blood drained from Sokka's face. "I see what you mean now." He couldn't move. He couldn't even look away. "She'll be the deal of me too."

_It must be a dream. It has to be a dream. Please let it be a dream. _He chanted over and over and over again.

The bar-back brought some food to the table and left. "Here Sokka, have a roll." Toph threw one at his head. It bounced off not even affecting the person who it had hit. "What the hells? Sokka, anyone home?"

"Not hungry." He mumbled turning away from his sister now dancing with another boy and practically sucking his face clean off.

**Toph**

"Sokka's dying!" Toph screamed. Really, he had never refused food before and if she were honest he was scaring her. He had drunken more than he ever had before, she didn't know how much more he could take. "Zuko, did you see that? Did he really refuse food?"

"So? He's not hungry. Leave him alone. Maybe he didn't want to eat in the first place, but because you already ordered him food then threw it at him he unconsciously drinks it out of habit and now I can't stop and the whole night is ruined and I have to watch Katara make-out with boys and fornicate with many different Ass-butts. So I repeat, leave him alone." He took another long draft from the bottle and passed it to her, "Here."

"Thanks." She guzzled it down and waited for the effects to kick in, when it didn't immediately she drank some more. "Uh oh, I drank it all." She thurned the bottle upside down, "Why is the rum always gone?"

The table was silent after that, each lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm twenty-four and I have lost my entire family. My mother, father, and Uncle are dead and Azula might as well be." Azula was locked up in the mental institution and on so many sedatives that she wasn't able to have a normal conversation.

Toph broke down tears streamed down her face faster than she could wipe them off, "I'm so sorry, Zuko." She hugged him tightly and sobbed into his chest. She too had no one and understood how lonely it was to be, well, alone.

Zuko hugged her back and started crying too, "He's dead. I'll never have him force feeding me tea ever again!"

"My parents still don't understand!" Toph wailed. "They want to marry me off to some rich dude who has no sense of humor."

**Aang**

Aang knew his friends would be missing him, but he was having fun talking to all the random people at the bar. He might have had one too many drinks prepared by the talkative bartender.

Somewhere around drink three, he began to notice things he normally wouldn't, like how her boobies were really big. Or how other he really wanted to hug her.

Okay, it wasn't right to be thinking such things about a kind lady, he should return to his friends. His head felt really fuzzy. Is this what Toph calls being drunk?

Someone bumped into him spilling his current drink all over his disguise, "Hey, I'm walking here! Watch where your goin', Butt-munch." _Oh, my. Did I just call this poor person a really bad word. He probably didn't see where he was going. I should probably apologize. _

The man who bumped into Aang was tall and had snake tattoo's down his arms. Glowering turned to face Aang and growled, "Care to say that to my face, pipsqueak?"

It was if Aang had no control over his mouth, "I'm the friggin' Avatar. I'll say whatever I like to your face."

"Yeah, right." Tattoo-arm-man laughed, "The Avarar. That little cloud-hopper? Get out of here before I really do decide to punch your face in." When Aang didn't move, he began making shooing movements with his hand, "I've given you a stay of execution. Why are you still here?"

Aang had a sudden urge to be even more intimidating than this guy, "Listen buddy," He poked tattoo-arm-man in the chest, "Being Avatar is a big job with lots of power. I could beat you up in a second. Don't threaten me again."

Suddenly Aang was spun around by another person and punched square in the face. It hurt like the dickens. He flew back into the chest of tattoo-arm-man who proceeded to let him drop to the floor.

"That's for touching my boyfriend." His assaulter snorted.

"Thanks, honey. You always take care of me. _So_ strong." Tattoo-arm-man swooned.

**Zuko x Katara**

Zuko woke up with a splitting headache. The curtains were open, who the hell left the curtains open?

He cursed all things bright and alcohol under his breath as he opened his eyes. Trying to move was like swimming through jello. His arm bumped into something next to him on the bed. He looked down and saw that it was a naked Katara lying on her stomach next to him. Holy shit, what the hell happened last night?

He sat up too quickly making his head spit, he felt like he was going to be sick. Forcing himself to keep the contents of his stomach in tact, he surveyed the situation. He was naked. Katara was naked. Maybe they had _The Sex_ last night.

He also noticed that the carpet had a large burn in it. Also the curtains did too, and some of the clothes on the floor and the bed sheets. He had ash in his hair along with feathers. "What the hells?" He mumbled. He also noticed multiple dents and gashes that a waterwhip most likely caused.

Katara groaned and rolled over next to him pulling the sheets over her breasts. She winced at the headache she had developed over night and mumbled something about , "Sex god."

Whatever happened last night, it was totally worth it.

**Toph x Sokka**

Toph awoke sleeping against someone's chest. _Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump. _She winced at every one of the heartbeats, the pain was unbearable due to the biggest headache she had ever had, but she recognized Sokka quickly enough.

Next thing she recognized was that she was laying completely on top of Sokka, not just laying next to him with her head on his chest, but head to chest, stomach to groin, and playing footsies kind of on top of him. Oh, badgermoles. They were both naked too.

She rolled off of him quickly and placed her hand on the ground to feel for her clothes. They were asleep in an earth tent. She suspected that she herself constructed it, but it was poorly done so she decided not to take credit for this particular one.

Ah, she found their clothes, but they were not even in the earth tent they were farther away, closer to the bar than she would have liked. Making a fist she slammed it down on the hard ground and pulled it toward her bending the clothes under the walls of the earth tent. With her clothes were also Sokka's.

Sokka groaned and wrapped an arm around her naked stomach sending a pleasant shiver down her spine. It was a nice contrast against the blood rushing through her head.

"Sokka, get off me." She said gruffly as she dropped his clothes on top of him. She started to put on her own clothes starting with her undergarments. She didn't want Sokka to see her… again.

His heartbeat quickened signaling that he was indeed awake, "Where are we?"

"Outside the bar."

"What happened last night? And can't I see anything? Why am I naked?"

"I wish I knew. We are in an earth tent, no light. And I have no idea. Why are you asking me?"

"Are you naked too?" Sokka asked as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"I was." Came Toph's nonchalant reply.

"Did we…?"

"I don't know. By the way, nice package." Toph snickered as Sokka's heart raced. It sounded like he was going to have a heart attack.

"Not fair! You saw mine, but I can't see yours?"

"Correction, felt. I felt yours. And no you cannot feel mine." She growled as she pulled her shirt over hear head too and lowered the earth tent causing Sokka whimper at the sunlight. At least he didn't have to deal with the constant vibrations around him.

**Aang**

Aang woke up with one hand tied to a bed and a blindfold covering his eyes. Scared he used his freehand to uncover his eyes and untie his other wrist. He sits up and winces at the pounding in his head. He glances around the room and scared to see a woman lying across his legs and another couple cuddled together on the floor.

He gasped when he tried to move the sleeping naked lady from off him. His side screamed in protest. Cautiously he placed a hand against his ribs to find that he had broken one.

What had happened last night? He couldn't remember anything!

**Posted 7/15/14**


End file.
